Scared to Death--Urgent Call from SSI worker
i came home to a message --'URGENT'--call SSI. office closed --i left a message. will worry and cry until i know why--they give themselves 2 days to return my call.
i don't think this is very good. who am i --nobody.
worked hard all my life--teaching future citizens. i could not help being the wrong color for the last JOB---couldn't help what had gone wrong in the school system for over a century.
did everything to get back on my feet--government and HMO--screwed my healthcare and efforts up as badly as they could--they get away --no cosequences. forced to go accept Medicaid. $400/mo
if they want to control my life--they can keep the $400 and i will just find a way not to exist. too hard--just too hard, my life. don't care that it is 'Worse' for others--bad enough for me.
bad doctors---who don't know how to do their JOBS--yet they are not investigated and made to face consequences. always the way--unscrupulous, 'smart' people can 'Cheat'. people like me are the victims. punished and punished and punished again for any little mistake.
no, i have never enjoyed much from life. family did not have $$$$$$$--did what they could---lived among the affluent--none ever cared at all.]
stupid, bad person--that is what i am. graduate degree in Education, test scores highest percentage in my certification fields, always satisfactory evaluations. one middle school girl got mad, lied and was supported by school system--destroyed my life. so i don't care--just don't.
i want to leave this world--if SSI worker says anything critical to me i am going to tell her i don't want the $400.